My heart was a-flutter, my breath shallow, short
My clay-covered hands trembled slight at the thought
Yet I knew I must do what I knew that I ought
For the girl close there at my side
My throat was bone-dry, my lips cracked and parched
Tight like a high collar, crisp, clean and starched
Poised like a cat’s back, tense and full-arched
For the girl close there at my side
Deep in my chest my heart beat like a hammer
Shouting loud in the silence, all of a clamour
I could find so few words, I was all of a stammer
With the girl close there at my side
Summoning up courage from an inner reserve
Though my voice lost all fervour, zeal, zest and nerve
My hand found that just as it had deserved
The girl close there at my side
And I smiled with a glow that started within
Spreading out like a sunbeam, wide like my grin
Knowing that here was the birth of new kin
With the girl close there at my side
A love that grew stronger with each passing day
Flowing into the years we have shared, come what may
Standing back now I smile, and love still I can say
The girl close there at my side
‘Most thirty-five years we’ve shared now, us two
Seen four lovely children as to adults they grew
And the love that I found still seems just as new
For the girl close there at my side
©Jemverse
Jun 02, 2014 @ 15:49:44
I liked this poem for a couple of reasons. First, I thought that the form complemented the nature of the poem. As the indention of sections moved from right to left the poem felt like it got faster. Then as the indention of sections moved from left to right, the poem felt like it slowed down. This seemed to complement the ideas being expressed. Second, I felt that the subject of the poem was somewhat uncertain at first. Although I think I figured out what it was, I had to read the poem a few times and change what I thought a few times as well. I think this added something to it.
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Jun 02, 2014 @ 16:08:28
Thanks for those very kind words. Much appreciated. As you say, sometimes the way a poem is set out can add to what it is trying to say. It’s not appropriate every time, but sometimes it really helps. Nice point about the indentation – I’ll keep that in mind for the future.
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Nov 18, 2014 @ 04:56:22
Beautifully done…conveying the boy’s uncertainty and then his joy 🙂
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Nov 18, 2014 @ 06:22:10
Thanks Saya. I still feel it!
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