Surrounded by darkness
as night settles in
Little pinpricks of light
point to where I have been
As with power from the sunlight
they get by the day
they come alive in the darkness
to light up my way
And as my garden at night
brings mysterious smile
I’ll gladly partake
every once in a while
©Jemverse
Jemverse 
Jun 30, 2017 @ 18:11:41
I really liked this until just the very end:
“And as my garden at night
brings mysterious smile
I’ll gladly partake
every once in a while”
Don’t know if you can improve that last line or not, but it sort of breaks the mood. It seems you might want to do this more than every once in a while based on previous lines — also the meter in that last line is a bit out of place, I think. Just a suggestion on seeing if you can try to replace that last line or last couplet to make this even more effective.
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Jun 30, 2017 @ 18:24:08
Thanks for the comments, but I tend to write mostly with spontaneity. I change things sometimes but mostly I’m content. And I like the last verse.
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