Work in progress

One thing they don't tell you
is that Chemo's pretty shite
If they did no one would do it
and there'd never be the fight
at least not one where poison
is pumped into your body
followed by three weeks of drugs
insidious and shoddy

And yet still here with cancer
it's a choice which must remain
as you're always in the driving seat
and the most to lose or gain
I made the choice to leave it
two infusions; six weeks in
as it took away the best of me
stopped me being; stopped my grin

That was right and right for me
the opposite for others
such is hindsight's privilege
and the knowledge that it smothers
Ten days followed, painful, long
and the allegory of that choice
from the car crash of withdrawal
I now embrace and yes, rejoice

For though still a work in progress
another change has taken place
and one that's for the better
as you can see from gait and face
The CT scan at end of month
will go ahead as planned
But for the moment chemotherapy
in this body is now banned.

©Jemverse

[When, five months ago I was faced with  two choices – three months, or chemotherapy and the chance  of more, that’s kind of a no brainer. But, there’s also quality of life to think about. That might  mean a shorter time. But a qualitative life has so much added value and is absolutely the only choice for me. So that’s the path I’ve now taken. ‘Joie de vivre!’]

Rested

Some days merge and meld
There's a place for that
and when coupled with a healing
they border on a beautiful
mostly peaceful use of time
purpose and meaning merging
and melding and slipping away
And I am rested.

©Jemverse

Rebellious Hope

I believe Belinda may have got it right
and heaven IS a place on earth
not that I'm planning on
going there anytime soon
For those of us who live in rebellious hope
(sic. Dame Deborah Jones R.I.P.)
stand up to adversity no matter how bleak
it sometimes gets.
Heaven is a long time coming
but when my time comes
I'll be off to the place Belinda sees
Right here, in perfection as God intended.
Meantime rebellious hope prevails.

©Jemverse

Scaffolding

Outside my window the scaffolding blight
is getting annoying and hiding the light
It's been up too long and there in  our sight
and long overdue to be gone

The roof and the leading weeks ago done
yet still it is here to block out the sun
It's time for the scaffolding people to come
as it's long overdue to be gone

So we had a pop, played the old access card
told them quite clear that it made it hard
to have scaffolding up to manoeuvre when marred
so it's long overdue to be gone

©Jemverse

(some of it has now gone, but some still remains even now!)

Good form

Last Sunday, not a good day
thoughts were swirling, caught me up
needed rest and got it
but this remains a bitter cup
Some days it just gets like that
comes in from the left field
and though I do my best to counter
it's hard to stand and not to yield

So when it comes I do my best
to think of other things
Play music, write a poem
remember my heart sings
Most days these are unusual
thank goodness, not the norm
as most days like today of course
I'm me and in good form

©Jemverse

Mobility

I wish I didn't have to
and that I didn't have the need
but I do and am quite chuffed
with my shiny new blue steed
A self-propelled and comfy
wheelchair to get around
and though legs are getting better
means I can get to town
And yes I hope it's temporary
of course I do, but hey
it's all about my comfort
to make the most of every day

©Jemverse

Roofing & Sparks

Bang! Crash! Wallop! Bang!
the Sparks is in the hall
Slates are coming off the roof
Rubble's in the wall
New lights are going up around
The chimney's almost down
noise is almost everywhere
with all this building sound
It feels almost chaotic
yet by the ending of the day
A new roof will be up there
and we'll have light to shine the way

©Jemverse

Importance

Let me tell you a tale of importance
and then you can make up your mind
of what to spend time to think about
and what to do to unwind
You see it's all to do with values
and comparisons at the end of the day
some will be imperative
some can go by the way

But when faced with a life changer
so big it shifts its course
Importance takes on new meaning
and needs no encouraging force
Because then all the things that once mattered
no longer do that's the thing
Yes they still carry their value
but longer with passion to bring

The life-changer takes a precedence
everything else second place by its side
and that truly is cathartic
with a feeling of peace deep inside
Yes, I've the privilege of knowing
and not everyone's getting that
But if you could grasp just a facet
you would benefit, that's a known fact

Importance is all about value
what matters, what makes you tick
and when coupled with a life passion
there's benefit in all of it
For causality sometimes is brutal
and brings one down to the ground
But precedent to the important
is there if there's light to be found

©Jemverse

Mohican

Mohican equipped I am ready to face
once more again now the old human race
Have had it in mind for a very long time
but finally now I have one that's mine
And no the grey hair won't often be here
colours instead to bring lots of cheer
Yes I'm in my sixties and have cancer to boot
but none of that stops me from having a hoot
Cock-a-hoop to the world, this is the new me
Flipping the finger with a loud tee tee hee


 

©Jemverse

Normal

I long for the chance just
to sit down and say
as evening falls swift
'that was a good day'
But at present that thing
is often denied
almost as if life
had something to hide

I know it's not like that
but that's how it feels
as my body lies wasted
and struggles to heal
but it hits me daily
like a slap in the face
A cruel imposition
like falling from grace

I long to be normal
for an average day
not one lying prone
with little to say
But one which has pride
Just to be as you are
living life as it should
be that close or afar

It is not much to ask
so I hope and I pray
that soon in my future
an average day
I will see and embrace
and call it my life
instead of this struggle
that still cuts like a knife

©Jemverse